Ugly Truth

ok dudes. 
I'm going to be really open today.
I have hemmed and hawed over talking about this because it's sensitive, some of it is gross, and I just wasn't sure if it was something worth posting.
But then I said to myself, if I were to have read this a year and a half ago, would it have helped me? And the answer was yes.




I try to write consistently about eating and living gluten free. 
It's not just a dietary choice, it's a lifestyle. Which sounds like a canned and corny response, but it is 100% the truth.

I have felt sick since 2008(Maybe even 2007).
That's five years, people.

After many months of trying to determine what food was making me so sick, I finally landed upon dairy. Awesome. The one food product I eat at every single meal.

Let's say this is about early 2009.
Over the next two years, I feel moderately better by avoiding dairy as much as possible. I stop drinking milk, eating sour cream, yogurt, and ice cream. So basically, the best foods ever.

In 2011, I started feeling awful again. And more frequently.
Like very day I felt lethargic, uncomfortable, and(sorry for this) about once a week I spent the better part of the day in the bathroom. 
Yuck

OOTD. Summa-Summa Time

I saw/listened to this song on SNL last weekend. It's been my jam of the week ever since. I honestly don't even know what the words say or mean, but I really like the music and melody!

This week, to celebrate this amazing weather, I've been Instagramming my little heart our with my #ootd(outfit of the day). Follow me @fromCAtoKS ;)

Monday - Top from JC Penney, Black Skinnies and Sandals from Target

Tuesday - Tank from American Eagle, Shorts from Abercrombie, Sandals from Target

Wednesday - T-Shirt, Shorts AND Sandals all from Target!

Thursday - Tank& Cropped Jeans from American Eagle, Sandals from Marshall's,
Necklace from Forever 21

Friday - Dress and Sandals from Target(I swear, I have boobs, they're just hiding ;)

What can we gather from this week's outfits?

1. I really love to shop at Target. 
2. I obviously work in a very casual office.
3. I only wore my hair in a ponytail once, which is some sort of record.

What else is rocking my week?!

Brent is done with this semester!
Finally. Hallelujah. Praise whichever god you subscribe to. 

And, I should be off work today at noon, baring any major disasters.
And then I'm going to drag my ginger-ish husband and white dog and their 10 bottles of sunblock(yes, we have to spray the dog with sunblock. She burns easily, just like my husband. They're a match made in heaven.) out to the nearest river or lake(we have a lot of rivers and lakes here!) so the pup can run around, the husband can fish, and I can get my tan on.
That sounds like compromise, yes?


Have a wonderful weekend pretty ladies! And men. If there are any of you reading this, which I doubt.

Oh...hi.

Oh hi.

Don't mind me. just,  you know. Checking in and stuff.

In all honesty, I have finally managed to finish a ginormous project at work and am in recovery mode. 

Also, B is in the midst of finals week and he is a study monster, so he hasn't been getting home from school until 9:30 or 10pm (!!!)

On the bright side to all of this, the weather is finally drop-dead-gorgeous, B's last final is tomorrow, and I have big nap plans for this weekend. 

As for the pictures? I took them sitting on our roof over the weekend. The light was fun to play with ;)

I was feeling all inspired and such when I took them. Then Sunday-Evening-Letdown hit, and I sunk into my Oh-No-Tomorrow-Is-Monday-Depression.

Which is probably why I haven't graced this little blog with my words in days.

What's new with you?

Is your life getting crazy?! (I secretly hope so!)

Mom's Are Taking Over BlogLand

Oh lordy, help us. I'm linking up with Jen for her Mom link up.

Friday's Topic? "Mom Take Over The Blog Day"

You didn't think I'd pass on that opportunity, did you?

Not only did I ask my mom to write a post. I made her write what I normally write on a Friday  Which is, of course, #backthatazzup and Dear Friday.
And boy does she have some gems for you.

I should also mention my mom reads my blog every day. And texts me if there isn't a new post up by 10 am. She's also really smart and very funny, so I basically hit the Mom jackpot.

That's my Mom, always laughing through a picture. 

And now... 

Hello From California To Kansas Blog Readers! 

I’m Briana(Y'all just call her Bri. Or Mom. She responds to both), Mallory’s Mom, and I get the extreme pleasure of writing today’s blog.

Mal, (as we often call her), sent me a text the other morning, asking if I was game to take up her blog gauntlet, and I got a big grin on my face. It’s not everyday you get a bunch of new readers checking out your stuff, you know.

As for me, I’m brutally honest, I don’t sugar-coat things, I have a wicked tongue and a slang vocabulary that has shocked many hard-core bikers.

There’s also the creampuff side of me that regularly performs random acts of kindness for complete strangers, I want to help/save any stray critter that crosses my path, and I “well-up” with tears and engage into a full blown crying jag at most everything!

Mallory said I had to pick a song for the day, and do her Dear_____Letters.

My first dilemma was to pick some get-you-movin-kinda-music. So I went and listened to Mal’s choice of #backthatazzup. My first thought… damn, I am so old and out of the loop!! I couldn't even understand what the man was saying, but I know it was explicit, because iTunes said it was!

So I went to my good, old school, musical roots, and rummaged through my Ipod and came up with a classic by Stevie Wonder, “ Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing”. Always get me bopping when I need a little bopping time under my belt!

Now for the letters;

Dear Mother Nature,

You are really a pain in the ass this year for most of the countries occupants! You’ve been stingy with your sun and overly generous with your snow! My poor Mallory calls me from Kansas saying one day it’s hot and sunny and the next day she has 3” of snow! Who tortures folks like that???

Personally, I’m sick of your hot air blasting through my yard and your total disregard for all the roses I've worked so hard to grow! If I see one more decapitated rose head in my driveway, that you so callously chopped off, I’m gonna be pissed, and not just a low level pissed, but a steaming, hot turd kinda pissed and you don’t want me to go there! So back off bitch and give my kid in Kansas some sun!

　

　

Dear Pontoon Boat,

I owe you an apology for buying you too late last year. We didn't get a chance to bond on the water and I really missed that!

This is our year Pontoon Boat! We’re going to bob along on the lake for hours on end, eat lots of yummy picnic food, read good books, nap as often as possible and watch all the magnificent sunsets. And don’t forget Fourth of July with the fireworks! It’s our year boat! Get ready to party!!!

　

Dear Passport,

I can’t say how much I've missed you in my life! We haven’t seen each other since 2011, and we need to connect again, soon, for some serious traveling!

I want to go to Europe, the Caribbean, Greece, and finish off the USA. Are you ready to go? I know I am! And I promise you, this year, I’ll try to become a better packer, so I don’t embarrass you at the check in counter with my overweight bags and juggling of too much stuff to take on a plane.

I’m going online right now Passport to see what adventures we can have together! I love you Passport!

Dear Mallory,

I so enjoy reading your blog everyday, as a way to keep us connected, when I’m here and you're there. Your writing is just like listening to you talk and you always say what’s on your mind.

You make me laugh, you make me cry, but most of all, you make me so proud to be your Mom! I've always said that if you made it through life without going to rehab, going to jail, or being on Jerry Springer, I did a good job as your Mom.

But it wasn't just me. It was you too! You've always had a strong sense of yourself, confident and ballsy, with the right amount of chutzpah (Mom, I knew I could count on you to throw a Jewish word in here somewhere ;) to get yourself out of any sticky situation, and with your integrity intact! That’s my girl!

I call this our Jewish Picture. I forget why. It just is.

Happy Mothers Day? Damn straight!! 

I’m the happiest Mother ever!! 

LOVE YOU MAL!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!!

Bedsider.org

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Bedsider.org 

Today, let's talk about Birth Control & Bedside Tables. 
Getting a bit personal around here ;)

I'm 24 and married, so I've tried a few different methods of birth control ;)
I started taking birth control when I was 17. I used The Pill until I was 21. 
I liked The Pill, it's easy, and shhh...my boobs were bigger. Priorities, you know. 
When I was 21 I switched to Mirena. I know that there is a lot of talk about Mirena and it's safety and health issues that can arise, but I have had nothing but a great experience so far, and I'm about 2.5 years in! Mirena lasts for 5 years, so it's a great long term birth control solution, in my opinion! In fact, I will probably continue using a Mirena IUD until if/when my husband and I decide to have children!
Want to find out what birthcontrol is best for you? Visit Bedsider.org/methods 

Ever wondered what I keep at my bedside table? 

Right now, I have the best intentions of re-reading Eat Pray Love, because I read it when I was 19-ish? And I want to read it again now that I've taken a leap of faith in marrying a blind date and moving halfway across the country. Just to see if my perspective has changed.

You'll also find this small candy dish(I think it's a candy dish) that I inherited from my paternal grandmother. Every night when I climb into bed, I place my wedding ring there. 
I just recently learned that pretty much every other woman leaves her rings on all the time. I take mine off constantly. Before I take a shower, when I wash dishes, when I go to bed. 
I just really like my ring and am always afraid of "hurting" it! ;)

In my bedside drawer you will also find:
3 hand lotions 
2 lip balms
half a dozen books
a knitting project I never finished
old photographs
post-its(I don't know why, I don't have any pens in there)

But wait!

There's a contest to enter! See rules below, and Good Luck!

• Follow Bedsider.org on Pinterest.

• Create your own Pinterest board titled, “What’s in My Bedsider Drawer?”

• Repin this rules pin found here and at least one Bedsider’s 15 contest images found here from their board titled, “What’s in My Bedsider Drawer?” Be sure to tag each pin with the hashtag, #BedsideDrawer.

• Pin at least 5 additional images to represent your ideal bedside drawer. Tag each pin with the hashtag, #BedsideDrawer.

• Share your board’s URL on the Bedsider’s Facebook page here. Make sure to enter by 11:59 PM PST on May 29, 2013!

Every girl has that bedside drawer that holds the bedroom essentials: their Kindle, a pair of reading glasses, sexy lingerie. – whatever fits their personality. No matter what your drawer says about you, there’s birth control that will fit right in. Find the best method for your routine and style at Bedsider.org.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Bedsider.org.

"G" Date

What happens when you love alliteration and going on dates with your husband?

You start Alphabet Dating of course. Or rather, Kaitlyn from Wifessionals and Sharlee from Believing In Something started alphabet dating.

I'm just here to find out what the person who picked X does.

I remember I really wanted the letter B, but someone swooped in and stole it before I got to it! tehehe! 
So I picked G, thinking, piece of cake! We can GOLF!
I totally did not anticipate:
The Longest Winter The United States Has Seen Since 1832
which put a serious damper on my plans. I mean, we just now went golfing(on April 28), and this post is going live May 9! 
#timecrunch
#golfinginthesnowwasapossibility
#hashtagALLTHETHINGS

So about 2.2 seconds after picking G, I created this cutie:

Which in hindsight was a bit premature, but hey, I had just read through a 20 page list of all G words in the English Language(do your research kiddos)

Obviously, I was really focused on food. Must have made this prior to lunchtime.

Onward we shall go:

For Breakfast:

Griddlecakes

Snacks for the day on the GOLFCOURSE:

Gummi Bears.

Goobers.

Grapes.

Gatorade.

Guinness.

Please note: My husband thought I should have packed healthier snacks. 

Some days I question this man's thought process. Gummi Bears are totally healthy.

Practicing Chipping. I'm tanning, FYI.

On to the first hole...

Waiting for the golfers in front of us to get out of "hitting" range

And he swwiiiiiings.

I die. 

There are Geese on the golfcourse.

It's like fate!

Alliteration Fate!

Ya ever seen a snapping turtle?

'Twas my first time.

Snappy little bastard.

Lucky I didn't feel like making turtle soup. (Obviously I couldn't since there was not a G)

He hates all aspects of picture taking. Isn't that boot for his putter cute?

For Dinner:

Green Tea Sushi.
Isn't it convenient that it's a G and less than 2 blocks from out apartment?

Have you had Gyoza? It's amazing even if you aren't living by the G ;)

And I had the best intentions of eating Grape popsicles for dinner, but completely forgot because I'm not used to having such contraband in the house. 

All fruit popsicles are like contraband when married to Brent. As evidenced by the gummi bears.

So what do you think? 

Would you try Alphabet Dating?